For each of us, life is a unique and wonderful journey. As we travel on this journey, we experience love, we gather memories, learn lessons, and obtain greater wisdom, which ultimately defines our very own, one-of-a-kind presence in this world. 

But along with experiencing life, we also recognize the reality that our life will end. Death is never an easy topic to confront; consequently, planning proactively for one’s own passing is almost unheard of. Many of the tasks and decisions that are carried out by loved ones when death occurs are drenched in pain and grief, but a number of the related details could have been outlined in advance, when heads were clear and hearts unburdened.

The tragedy of my family losses and my professional experiences have inspired me to create this journal. The sudden death of my father was the most profound, emotional ordeal I have endured. I was a typical 17-year-old high school senior, whose days were filled with homework, band practice, tennis and fun. The thought of death rarely entered my mind. I couldn’t even imagine losing a parent or sibling. At the time, it never seemed possible.

My father suffered a massive heart attack, leaving behind his 39-yearold wife and six children. Within hours after his death, we had to face many difficult choices and plan for his funeral. My heart kept telling me this was all a terrible mistake, while my mind kept reminding me of the truth as we proceeded to make dozens of urgent decisions.

After the funeral, we were confronted with many legal and financial matters. Having to make these unexpected decisions during this time of intense grief was incredibly painful and difficult – almost too much to bear. This would not be the only traumatic loss I would have to endure.

Years later, my dear sister-in-law was diagnosed with leukemia at age 33. Her fighting spirit persevered for almost a year, before she lost her courageous battle against cancer. Prior to her death, our relationship deepened and our time together was spent talking about anything and everything – except death. During one of our final visits together, I sat next to her, holding her hand, sharing silent companionship. Although uncertain about this matter, I felt compelled to ask her if she cared to share her thoughts with me about dying. I remember how she struggled to sit up in her bed, began crying and thanked me for asking. She spoke for hours sharing her deepest fears, regrets and disappointments in life. She confided specific wishes that she would like to have honored upon her death. Several days later, she passed away peacefully.

Losing a loved one is certainly one of life’s most heartbreaking experiences. The loss of those dear to me has taught me a great deal about love, life and death. I have learned to love unconditionally, live with a greater sense of appreciation for every experience I encounter, and to be less afraid, especially of death. I’ve learned that our fears don’t stop death – they merely inhibit us from living a more complete life. Both my family losses and my professional involvement working with cancer patients have taught me the importance of planning for death. Nothing on this earth is as natural as the miracle of birth or the certainty of death. Instinctively, we are all aware of this fact, and yet, most of us are reluctant to totally and freely accept the natural balance of our existence. Many of our day-to-day activities are directed at making the most of what life has to offer; consequently, we seem to give little thought to the ending of life.

I encourage you to take control of an essential part of your life as you use this journal to organize and record important data and personally communicate your final wishes to your loved ones. And, it is my hope that Grant Me My Final Wish will help you celebrate your life and approach its end with peace of mind so that, ultimately, saying good-bye will be easier for you and those you leave behind.

Many Blessings